I finally have a moment to write a proper update to my blog. It's been a while.
The last few months have been busy. I have learned a lot not only about being in the kitchen but also about myself. There are many challenges and obstacles that I am continuing to deal with and it's a struggle sometimes but it is also a blessing. I have so much more to learn.
I think my last few entries have exhibited some of my frustrations thus far. I will try to keep this entry as positive as I can as I feel positive about the way things will be in the future. If it does not kill me, it'll only make me stronger and I'm not dead, therefore I think that means I am stronger.
I have basically been bumped off the pastry roster and am only being called in to work pastry when they are stuck. At first it was like a huge slap in the face since I felt tons of loyalty to this team and all of a sudden there was no loyalty reciprocated. Such is life, I tell you. It sucked but I am now over it. Aside from budget cuts and not being busy, my hours dwindled as the new pastry chef took on another pastry cook with slightly more experience than I. I had felt strong frustrations with myself and harbored feelings of not being good enough for a while. Today, I feel fine. I am learning and improving. I kind of feel that if my superior is not willing to teach me or give me the opportunity to learn, then perhaps I am in the wrong space. I would like to be in an environment where my superior is also supportive of my professional growth. I'm sure it'll be hard to find, but I am also sure that it exists. It did before. I know that it is not a question of me not being a good worker as the Banquet Chef and Cafe Chef have put me on their schedules on a pretty steady basis.
So, for the last few weeks I have mostly been working as a prep cook at the AGO. I would prefer to be doing pastries however, I am taking the shifts as it still proves to be a valuable experience in the kitchen. Plus, the money ain't so bad either.
My time here has been a roller coaster ride. I like roller coasters though. I have, in the last little bit, learned a lot being in this kitchen. Yes it's a circus and yes it's a shit show sometimes but it's a constant push for me. For the most part I love the peeps I work with. Aside from all the lovin' and huggin' I get, I see these people all the time and they are my new found friends. We are part of the same army. I love them. I love food. We feed each other :)
A new pastry team has formed. There are two pastry ladies with more experience than me that have just started in the last month or two. I think we form a good team. I like that I am working with pastry cooks who have more experience than I. Whereas before, I had dishwashers and inexperienced cooks on my team. (I want to mention, that I was still grateful for all their help.) Together we form a super pastry alliance. The challenge here is that there are strong personalities at bay. Mine included, however I do not stroke my ego much. Maybe I should. Having the least experience can be good in a way as you get to learn from people who know how to do things and that will teach you. It can be a challenge in some ways too as it is hard to work at the same pace, sometimes. With this I struggle but with this struggle I will learn and excel. I'm trying to look at things from a different perspective and to be open and receptive to criticism. I will say that although some may have more experience and more years under their belt, they are not always right. That's it, that's all.
My favorite chef left last month. I miss my Chef Billy, by far my favorite part of the day. I also miss Dan, my Asian invasion partner in crime, and I will miss Guillermo my Mexican teddy bear. GMo, as he is referred to, is moving back to Mexico :(
I've been on the hunt to do more stages at different places. I did one at Pangaea and I have another one coming up at Scaramouche. I'm really into networking and meeting other pastry people.
I have also participated in a show piece for the "Kings of Pastry" documentary launch party. See my previous blog for further details.
....anyhow, this is my update. I still love what I do. I really do :)