Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Updates for now...

I finally have a moment to write a proper update to my blog.  It's been a while.

The last few months have been busy.  I have learned a lot not only about being in the kitchen but also about myself.  There are many challenges and obstacles that I am continuing to deal with and it's a struggle sometimes but it is also a blessing.  I have so much more to learn.

I think my last few entries have exhibited some of my frustrations thus far.  I will try to keep this entry as positive as I can as I feel positive about the way things will be in the future.  If it does not kill me, it'll only make me stronger and I'm not dead, therefore I think that means I am stronger.


I have basically been bumped off the pastry roster and am only being called in to work pastry when they are stuck.  At first it was like a huge slap in the face since I felt tons of loyalty to this team and all of a sudden there was no loyalty reciprocated.  Such is life, I tell you.  It sucked but I am now over it.  Aside from budget cuts and not being busy, my hours dwindled as the new pastry chef took on another pastry cook with slightly more experience than I.  I had felt strong frustrations with myself and harbored feelings of not being good enough for a while.  Today, I feel fine.  I am learning and improving.  I kind of feel that if my superior is not willing to teach me or give me the opportunity to learn, then perhaps I am in the wrong space.  I would like to be in an environment where my superior is also supportive of my professional growth.  I'm sure it'll be hard to find, but I am also sure that it exists.  It did before.  I know that it is not a question of me not being a good worker as the Banquet Chef and Cafe Chef have put me on their schedules on a pretty steady basis.

So, for the last few weeks I have mostly been working as a prep cook at the AGO.  I would prefer to be doing pastries however, I am taking the shifts as it still proves to be a valuable experience in the kitchen.  Plus, the money ain't so bad either.


My time here has been a roller coaster ride.  I like roller coasters though.  I have, in the last little bit, learned a lot being in this kitchen.  Yes it's a circus and yes it's a shit show sometimes but it's a constant push for me.  For the most part I love the peeps I work with.  Aside from all the lovin' and huggin' I get, I see these people all the time and they are my new found friends.  We are part of the same army.  I love them.  I love food.  We feed each other :)

A new pastry team has formed.  There are two pastry ladies with more experience than me that have just started in the last month or two.  I think we form a good team.  I like that I am working with pastry cooks who have more experience than I.  Whereas before, I had dishwashers and inexperienced cooks on my team.  (I want to mention, that I was still grateful for all their help.)  Together we form a super pastry alliance.  The challenge here is that there are strong personalities at bay.  Mine included, however I do not stroke my ego much.  Maybe I should.  Having the least experience can be good in a way as you get to learn from people who know how to do things and that will teach you.  It can be a challenge in some ways too as it is hard to work at the same pace, sometimes.  With this I struggle but with this struggle I will learn and excel.  I'm trying to look at things from a different perspective and to be open and receptive to criticism.  I will say that although some may have more experience and more years under their belt, they are not always right.  That's it, that's all.

My favorite chef left last month.  I miss my Chef Billy, by far my favorite part of the day.  I also miss Dan, my Asian invasion partner in crime, and I will miss Guillermo my Mexican teddy bear.  GMo, as he is referred to, is moving back to Mexico :( 


I've been on the hunt to do more stages at different places.  I did one at Pangaea and I have another one coming up at Scaramouche.  I'm really into networking and meeting other pastry people.

I have also participated in a show piece for the "Kings of Pastry" documentary launch party.  See my previous blog for further details.

....anyhow, this is my update.  I still love what I do.  I really do :)

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